You don’t need to be outgoing or eloquent in order for others to see you as a strong manager. Anyone can use these simple communication techniques to come across as more confident, capable, and caring — in other words, like a leader. Which should you be working on?
It’s natural to feel flustered, defensive, or even angry in the heat of a challenging moment. You’re human, after all. So how do you control those emotions in a way that shows you’re level-headed in difficult situations?
For starters:
Strong communicators understand that how you say something can matter as much as what you say. To sound more authoritative and help listeners understand the important parts of your message, deliberately adjust your voice:
Consider the difference between passive voice (e.g., “The report was compiled”) and active voice (e.g., “My team compiled the report”). Passive voice — when the subject of a sentence is not included or becomes the object — is fine to use sometimes from a grammar standpoint, but it comes across as weak.
On the other hand, active voice shows that you embrace accountability, for example when giving a clear directive (e.g., “Gloria, can you please handle this?” rather than “This needs to be handled”) or admitting a mistake (e.g., “I didn’t give the team enough time to complete the task” rather than “The task wasn’t completed on time”).
Many experts agree that strong leaders show curiosity and well-placed vulnerability. If you try to act like you’re perfect, you’ll inevitably fall short and dent your credibility. Instead, acknowledge your limitations and failures to demonstrate that you’re a self-aware, solution-focused leader. You’ll inspire trust and help others feel safe to speak up and learn from their mistakes.
When you don’t know something, try:
To talk about a current or past mistake, try:
Caution: When mentioning your limitations, don’t be so candid that you cause people to question your capability (e.g., “I have no idea!” or “I’m not even sure where to start with this!”). Be sure to include what you will do to find out what you don’t know or recover from a mistake.
Checking your email in a 1-on-1 or sending a text in a meeting might seem like no big deal. But it can seriously hurt your credibility, signaling that you care more about your to-do list than the people in front of you.
Fortunately, the opposite is also true: When you’re fully present in conversations, you demonstrate that you’re invested in what others have to say. In turn, they’re more likely to give you their best thinking — and to value your input. Here are ways to do so:
When you recognize your peers’ and direct reports’ great work, especially in the presence of higher-ups, you can develop a reputation as someone who knows talent and potential when they see it and is comfortable enough with their own standing to compliment and advocate for others. And if those others hear the praise, you’ll demonstrate to them that you notice their good work and care about their success.
Steer clear of generic praise like, “Chan did such a great job on the launch event!” Focus instead on the person’s specific achievement and its impact. For example, “I want to highlight Chan’s contribution to our successful launch event. She kept all stakeholders updated. And when we hit a technical roadblock, she worked with IT and our vendor to resolve the issue. There’s no way we would have been ready in time without her initiative.”
Most likely, your boss and other higher-ups don’t care much about the individual tasks you and your team have completed. They do care about the results of those tasks and how they contribute to bigger goals. When you focus your updates on what they care about, you establish that you understand both the big picture and your team’s role in it — and that you can deliver results.
Poor: “This week, we created three new store displays, posted our specials on social media, and reviewed receipts.”
Better: “To increase average customer spend per visit, we added three new displays in high-foot-traffic areas and promoted our specials on social media. Then we analyzed receipts against our average take and found a six percent increase. We’re going to try more ideas and keep tracking our progress.”
Some people take up lots of airtime in discussions, so their contributions are heard while quieter voices get drowned out. When you ensure that everyone has a chance to share their point of view, you’re saying that we need to surface the best ideas — regardless of who offers them or how loudly they’re expressed — in order to do great work.
Here are some phrases you can use to:
For those uneasy about speaking up in groups, try talking with them privately about how they prefer to share their thoughts (e.g., by email, in a group chat, or in a later meeting once they’ve had time to prepare).
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. That’s Habit 5 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which author Stephen R. Covey called “the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations.”
It’s especially valuable when you’re sharing a differing opinion in a meeting, pushing back against your boss’s terrible idea, or facing any other potential conflict. When you respond first with a question rather than a staunch “I disagree!” or “Well, I think …,” you establish yourself as a thoughtful, deliberate person who respects others’ ideas — even if you still disagree in the end.
You could start with a question that will yield more context in case you’re missing something (e.g., “That’s interesting. Could you share more of the thinking behind your position?”). Or, use your question to gracefully raise a potential issue and get the other person’s perspective (e.g., “If we implemented that idea, what questions do you think our customers would have? And how might we address those?”).