Improve how you make and keep commitments to yourself

It may seem like a small thing, but every time you tell yourself you’ll do something and then follow through and do it, you build self-confidence. And you help others see you as a person of strong character—someone they can trust.

This simple process can help you see how you’re doing and take small steps to improve.

1. Write down all of the current commitments you have made to yourself.

Capture whatever comes to mind, large or small. Maybe you’ve committed to finish a work task by a certain time, to exercise every other day, or to dedicate time each week to learning a new skill.

Do you struggle to think of items or have a list of loose goals or hopes—rather than specific commitments? That could be a sign that you need to focus more on making firm commitments to yourself and then keeping them so you build self-trust and the character that comes with it.

2. For each item on your list, ask yourself these accountability questions.

• When was the last time I disregarded this commitment?
• What stood in my way?

If you consistently keep commitments to yourself, good job—keep it up!

3. For each lapse, write down one adjustment you can make now so that going forward you can avoid what stood in your way.

You might adjust things in your life, like your calendar or work/life boundaries, to make it easier to meet the commitment you’ve set. Or you could adjust the commitment itself to make it more doable. Or consider cutting it altogether if you are so overcommitted that you can’t follow through—because setting goals you can actually meet does more to build your confidence and momentum than failing over and over to meet unrealistic ones.

Examples:

• Lapse: I skipped my Thursday certification class to answer questions for marketing.
• Adjustment: Set a clear expectation with other departments about my availability on the days that I have class.
• Lapse: I skipped exercise all last week.
• Adjustment: Tell myself that I need to exercise for just 10 minutes each time to make it more doable on an every-other-day schedule.

4. Identify ways to put those adjustments into place.

Continuing with the above examples: Send out an email explaining your limited Thursday afternoon availability. Set time in your calendar to exercise for 10 minutes during lunch or find an exercise partner to help you stay on your schedule.

As you try your adjustments, tweak as needed until you find an approach that works—and helps you meet one more commitment to yourself.